Anxieties and Expectations
by Rickmanlover24601
Summary: Hermione concocts a plan to prove her suspicions about someone she loves. Ron is her main pawn in the game. But will her love be reciprocated? Approx. 8 chapters in total.
1. Intro

**Intro:**

Some might think I'm strange but really I'm just a very logical person. I mean, why should I choose an action which I know will yield zero results? As Head Girl, I don't have a lot of time to myself so I'm not about to waste it pointlessly asking questions and embarrassing myself in the process.

I don't mind Ron. He's an honest person who would treat any girl with selfless caring. He's also my best friend. Some would say my plan is heartless but I will try to be nice about it. I know Ron won't find out because I'm taking this secret to my grave. And anyway, he's been dying to kiss me, why shouldn't I grant him his wish?

Well, I wasn't going to kiss him without achieving my desired result so I made sure the timing was absolutely perfect. After all, I'm a perfectionist.

……….

It was Monday night directly after dinner. I knew _he _had a lot of work to do so I made sure Ron followed me out of the Hall quickly. I had told Ron earlier I would show him something that would please him. I know, sounds like a Slytherin thing to do, right? We stopped right by the stairs that would take _him_ down to _his _office. Ron was so confused and I was nervous. What if it went wrong? What if Ron did find out what I was doing? But then something told me it didn't matter. I had to find out. I could always talk Ron around, couldn't I? No. That was naïve of me to think so but nonetheless I did it.

The moment I heard those oh so familiar steps, I pulled Ron close to me by his shirt front. His look of surprise was almost comical. My heart was beating like a drum as I pressed my lips against his. For a moment, time seemed suspended. I couldn't hear _his_ footsteps anymore though I strained my ears. By that point, Ron had overcome his initial shock and was kissing me back, his tongue creeping into my mouth. I couldn't stand that for much longer. Then, as Ron moved aside a few inches to murmur into my neck and bestow extremely sloppy kisses on my skin, I saw _him._

………..

**It might be a little confusing now but hopefully you'll begin to see what she's talking about as the chapters go on. I hope you enjoy. Updates will be fairly regular. There are about seven chapters to this story – most of them are short.**


	2. Startled Reactions

_He_ was lurking in the shadows just around the corner. _His_ face seemed disappointed, hurt even. And then, as Ron began sliding a hand up my thigh, _his_ look of longing transformed into anger, no fury. _His_ resounding, pounding footsteps approached us quickly.

"What in Merlin's name do you think you are doing?"

Ron jumped and spun around on the spot. "Snape!"

"Professor Snape, boy. I presume my eyes were not deceiving me?" He demanded, his voice like ice.

"Sir, I-"

"Shut up Granger." He spat venomously. "I would have thought you of all people would have enough sense to restrain yourself."

"Please sir, don't punish Ron." I quickly interjected.

"Oh, and why not?" He gave Ron a most disgusted look.

"He didn't- He wasn't…" I trailed off. If I said too much more, I would certainly ruin my chances. I couldn't just say I had provoked Ron… that it was my fault.

Alook of utter contempt flashed my way. "Fifty points from Gryffindor and detention for both of you tonight at eight."

Ron was spluttering, trying to voice all the nasty things he was undoubtedly thinking.

Then he disappeared as suddenly as he had appeared.

I watched him leave, the same look of longing on my face as he had worn only seconds earlier.

Now I knew. He did like me…maybe even love me, as I loved him. The only thing to do was to present myself in detention, my head held high, and perhaps try to get a word in.

………….

**Thanks a bunch guys for your reviews. I will reply to them the minute I get a chance. Hope you liked.**


	3. Pain of Seperation

As it turned out, we weren't scheduled for detention with Professor Snape, but with Professor McGonagall. I had to wait all week for a chance to talk to him. During class, I couldn't help but stare. Sometimes I even caught him looking at me. He quickly looked away but his look of disappointment did not go unnoticed.

I wrote him a letter on Friday and gave it to him after class. I hoped that he might find cause to talk with me over the weekend. If I were mistaken in thinking that he did harbor some affection for me than he would have the weekend to avoid me.

What a long suffering week I spent dreaming of my dark prince. Perhaps I do sound like a love sick teenager, but I know, deep down, I am nothing of the sort. I suffer from an unbreakable affection and respect for the mind and body that are Professor Snape's.

I must wait for his answer now, though I know I won't sleep a wink this weekend until I hear from him.

…………..

**Well, that was so unbelievably short that I just have to give you two chapters today.**

**And I'm completely caught up on my review replies! Yay!**


	4. A Letter of Love

Dear Professor Snape-

I would like to apologize for my behavior on Monday. Please know that I do not like Ron Weasley as much as my actions on that night would show. My heart has belonged to another for so long that I fear it would break in two were my love not reciprocated. Perhaps you might be wondering why I am telling you this. My reasoning is this: I saw you in the shadows before you stepped out and assumed your professional appearance. I hope that I was not mistaken in interpreting the look that spread across your face. I know that look because I wear it myself at night when I am alone with my thoughts and feelings.

Sir, I end this letter now with only one request. Do as you see fit. What you decide to do with this knowledge is completely up to you. I realize how improper this is and I want you to know that I will understand your decision.

With respect and admiration,

H. J. Granger

…………..

**Weee, I like that letter. He he.**


	5. Reply Received

Miss Granger

I must admit I was rather shocked by your correspondence and am unsure exactly how, as your professor, I should proceed. Perhaps I can overlook your brazen confession and write it off as a love note gone astray. Did you perhaps mean to address Mr. Weasley?

As myself, however, I can only say that I do not comprehend your affection for me. I would blame teenage hormones if I did not know that you have a brilliant intellectual mind that would surely override childish thoughts and behaviors.

I will leave you to decide how I 'looked' to you that night as I watched. If you do not esteem Mr. Weasley in such a way, may I ask why you let him display such animalistic behaviors? I should think that would disgust such a one as you.

I shall take this chance to congratulate you on receiving the honor of Head Girl. I did not doubt you would be chosen.

Enjoy your last year here at Hogwarts. It should be a memorable time. Forgive me my sentimental letter; this sort of thing is rather foreign to me. Please, do not write to me again, Miss Granger. I am sure you understand the reasons against such a correspondence.

Professor S. Snape

…………

**Ack, it was hard writing that and keeping Severus in character. Hope you liked!**


	6. Relief

I was right. I love being right but this feels so much better than normal. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my heart. It is so liberating to finally realize that I am not alone in my feelings. Though I can't act on them, knowing these feelings are reciprocated makes all the difference. He's an amazing man and I think I love him even more for maintaining his professional manner. I do long to talk to him, to hear him tell me how he loves me but I know I should only lose my head. As hard as it is not to rush to his quarters, I can respect his decision. In fact, I thank him for his letter. I can rest easy now.

As for Ron, well I'm not quite sure what to do. I have a hunch he doesn't like me that much either. Something tells me he will soon tire of my company. With no disrespect to myself, I do not think he could stand my nature, my somewhat controlling personality for too long. I know I'm very nagging. It has bothered him before and I know he will realize that, free kisses aside, I'm not worth the trouble.

But Prof- Severus is a lot like me. If he can stand, nay accept, my personality, I can stand his, in fact, I know I can revel in it.

………..

**That came out a bit more confusing than I would like, but hopefully it's okay. I think that might be all about Ron I'm going to write in here… If I can find a spot to put more in laterI might, but probably not.**


	7. Graduation

It seemed forever until my graduation night. I suffered through many long nights, dreaming of what I wish could happen. But I knew that it could only ever be in my dreams.

Just after our Leaving Feast, however, the strangest thing happened…

I was walking out of the hall for the last time ever when a hand grabbed my arm. Looking behind me, I realized Professor Snape was standing in the shadows.

"Miss Granger, may I have a word?"

"Of course. Give me a minute." I quickly returned to my friends and told them I would catch up with them later. Then I returned to the now empty hall.

"Yes professor?"

"I wanted to wish you good luck in the future, Miss Granger." He held out this hand.

"This is the last time I shall ever see you." I remarked as I took in his extended hand. I doubted he had ever willingly offered to shake hands with anyone before.

"Yes, that is why I'm-"

I cut him off with a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you for being so amazing and… understanding." He stared wide eyed at me but as I watched those dark eyes of his softened.

"Miss Granger, you can't possibly… like me that much."

"Why not?"

"There are numerous reasons why not."

"Any of them decent?" Then before he could reply I added, "And while we're at it, how come you like _me_ so much?" My tone was more inquisitive than forceful.

Snape paused for a moment. "That I can not answer."

"So we're even then. " My voice had become quieter now that I knew the conversation was drawing to a close.

"So it would seem."

A silence ensued. In which we both took in every aspect we could about each other and the moment.

"Well, thank you. You're a brilliant teacher and… and you never put me down for… liking you… and-" I don't usually ramble and I have never felt my breath catch in my throat like that before. My heart was racing as I stared into those bottomless eyes of his and watched him staring back. I could never have imagined I would actually get time to talk to him and-

-kiss him.

I can not tell who kissed whom; it seemed to be a unanimous decision. Hesitantly, we pressed our lips together. I felt a tear find its way down my cheek. It was the most glorious sensation ever. We just couldn't stop kissing though Heaven knows we probably should have stopped, should not have even started. I felt his hand on my back, drawing me closer, and a warm hand rested on my cheek. I had the sudden urge to run my fingers through his hair but refrained. (1)

Somehow we untangled ourselves, probably when we couldn't hold our breath any longer. I was out of breath and on the verge of crying outright. Never was there anything more tender, more heartfelt than those kisses. I knew I would remember that moment for the rest of my life.

"Don't cry, Mi- Hermione."

I could melt. I could melt right then.

He wiped another tear away and took a step back. I suddenly felt very cold. "Goodbye."

I couldn't say a word, so I slowly nodded, took one last, heart-wrenching look and left.

………

Epilogue to come.

(1) I was picturing the wonderful artwork that snapesnogger did on deviantart dot com. It's a pink background picture of Snape and Hermione in the same position as I just described. You can see the pic here (no spaces):

http/smg.photobucket. com/albums/v64/lady24? actionview¤t; snapeandhermionebeinggrossbys.jpg


	8. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

"Thank you sir. I really do appreciate everything you've done."

"You are most welcome, Ms. Granger. Perhaps you would like to get settled in your new quarters now?"

"Actually I thought I would say hello to Professor Snape first."

"As you wish. Have a pleasant evening my dear."

Dumbledore had been so kind to me. After all, no one had ever before asked for two apprenticeships at the same time. Professor McGonagall already knew about my request but I had yet to discuss the matter with Professor Snape. I knew that if he said no I still had my Transfiguration apprenticeship.

……..

It was after dinner when I arrived in the dungeons and I hoped it was not late enough to irritate him.

How would he respond to seeing me after all those years? I must admit, I was nervous as I approached his door.

I had to wait a minute before he opened it. Apparently, I had arrived as he was changing for bed.

I had wrongly presumed my feelings towards him would have dissipated over the time I spent away from him. For a moment I couldn't say anything; I just stared at his half buttoned white shirt.

"Miss Granger!" I snapped out of my daze at his exclamation.

"Hello sir." I replied steadily.

"What are you doing here?"

"I've come back for some apprenticeships."

"Some – Sorry, come - come in." He stood aside and took a moment to recover from his shock while he did up the last of his buttons.

"I was hoping I could discuss my ideas with you."

Snape shut the door and gestured for me to take a seat.

"Of course. Does this mean you're staying here now?"

"Oh yes. I have an apprenticeship with Professor McGonagall."

"I see." He took a seat opposite me. "And, if you don't mind me asking, what have you been doing since you graduated?"

"I worked as an accountant for Gringots in Paris." I knew he would raise his eyebrow.

"Very impressive. Why would you decide to return to Hogwarts?"

"Well, for one, I love this place and I know I'd love to teach." Snape made a funny noise that, most unfortunately, traveled all the way down my spine. "You might scoff but I think I would be much happier here."

"Happier than in Paris?"

I nodded. "What about you? Has anything exciting happened?"

"You need an answer to that?"

"I would like one, yes."

Snape took me in, probably mulling over my intrusive question… if you could call it intrusive. At least he couldn't take points off me. I found myself wishing he would instead give me detention. After all, he owed me one, didn't he?

I blinked trying to erase those sudden thoughts.

"I have had the odd commotion around here but certainly nothing Earth shattering."

As he replied, I sensed something behind his stony façade. I had received updates periodically from Dumbledore and Harry over the years and I knew things were heating up between the two opposing sides. More than likely, the unease beneath Severus' mask pertained to Voldemort.

"Well, I suppose no news is good news." I tried to keep it light despite the uneasiness I was feeling myself.

"Perhaps. What did you wish to discuss?"

"I had hoped you might allow me to take out an apprenticeship in Potions."

"Right." Severus slowly answered.

"I understand you haven't had an apprentice in…"

"I've never had one."

"Exactly, in forever." I half smiled. "But perhaps you might consider me?"

"And you believe you could handle _two _apprenticeships?"

"Yes, I'm positive."

He paused for a while. "I shall have to think about this."

I nodded. "That is all I can ask of you. Thank you." As I stood up Severus did the same. "I suppose I will see you around a lot now."

"Yes… I can never seem to get rid of you." He led me to the door.

"It's… nice to see you again."

"It's…nice to see you too."

My breath caught in my throat for only the second time in my life. We paused for a minute until I asked, "I've been wondering…"

"Yes?"

"My last night here as a student…" I looked down at my feet for a moment before gathering my courage and looking him in the eyes. "Who kissed whom?" I could tell I had caught him off guard.

He paused for a moment before answering very deliberately, "I'm not sure."

"Okay… well," I _was_ about to say goodbye but after so long a time away from him and after the sudden appearance of old feelings, I instead said: "Maybe this time I could… you might allow _me _to kiss _you_?"

"Miss Granger! If that is why you came here-"

I hung my head. "Yes, you're right. Nevermind."

But then I felt his finger on my chin lifting my head so he could look in my eyes. Merlin those eyes are penetrating…

"-then allow me to give you what you came for."

If possible, this kiss was even more sweet and tender than the last. It was also mixed with a deep sense of longing and loss which I suppose resulted from us spending so much time without each other. I never thought my departure could affect either of us so much. Sometimes Know-It-All Granger _can _be wrong. But only sometimes…

I became a puddle of goo, lost in those luscious lips, in that magical feeling coursing through the very core of me.

When we broke apart, he softly admitted, "I've missed you."

At that moment I was completely and utterly lost, completely head over heels, utterly his to do whatever he wished. "I've missed you too."

We looked at each other for a while and I found my eyes drooping with the fatigue that came with being so busy relocating that day. I tried to keep my eyes open but it was so hard when his kiss had just relaxed me so much. It had been a strange day indeed.

Apparently, Severus noticed my drowsiness. "You should get some sleep Hermione."

Oh Merlin. His voice was so deep and tender and my named rolled elegantly off his tongue in an almost seductive way. He was just making it all much worse.

"Yes, I should." I didn't believe my words. I was hopelessly lost in his gaze, my feet seemed to be glued to the spot. How I wished he would wrap his arms around me… "I-"

"Yes?" He asked again, but this time his voice was lower, quieter.

"I suppose…" I was breathless and he had barely done anything. Despite my usually loquacious nature, I had never been this bold before. But honestly, my intentions were…had always been… somewhat pure. I just wanted to feel the security and warmth that I knew being close to him would afford. I longed to fall asleep curled up in his strong, protective arms. I finished my sentence as a slight blush rose in my cheeks. Could I really be suggesting this to the cold and snarky Potions Master? "Your bed is closer…"

Severus paused for a moment, obviously debating with himself. I dreaded him turning me down and telling me to leave.

Finally, it seemed like hours later, he answered with, "Yes, I suppose it is."

I barely had time to smile before we were kissing again. My breath was lost again. All too soon he broke apart and whispered, "Hermione, I will never understand why you like me as much as you do, but I can't thank you enough for it."

That was more than I had ever expected.

…………..

**Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.** **:-D **

'**Tis over my friends.** **Hope you enjoyed and thanks for your lovely reviews!**


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